Posted on Mon, Apr 26, 2010
All of us worry sometimes. There are times though, when worry or anxiety can seem like it’s taking over your life. I often work with people who are troubled by worry or anxiety and collaborate with them to come up with solutions that are going to work for them.
5-4-3-2-1
There’s an exercise that might be helpful for you to practice and experiment with to put worry aside and get back into your life. It’s called 5-4-3-2-1 and one of the great things about it is that you can do it anywhere anytime. This is how it goes:
Look around. What are 5 things you can see? What are 5 things you can hear? This one may take some concerted effort. Really stop and listen. What are 5 things you can feel? Can you feel the chair you’re sitting on? Your feet on the floor? What else can you feel?
Now what are 4 things you can see? Don’t worry about making sure they’re different than the first 5. What are 4 things you can hear? Again, it’s okay if some or all of them are the same as above. What are 4 things you can feel?
Look around again. What are 3 things you can see? Are you seeing a pattern in this exercise? What are 3 things you can hear? And 3 things you can feel?
What are 2 things you can see, hear, and feel? Finally, what is 1 thing you can see, feel, and hear?
Where are you now–in your head or in the room? You can repeat this as many times as needed. Many people find this exercise helps bring them back into the here and now. How about you?
What else helps you put worry or anxiety aside and get on with your day? I’d be interested in your feedback!
About the author:
Renée Meggs is a Registered Psychologist who works with adults and children to help them do what works, both in counselling and coaching. If you’d like to book an appointment or inquire about my services, please e-mail me at reneemeggs@focusedsolutionscounselling.com and/or go to my website at http://www.reneemeggs.com. I can meet with you in person, on the phone, or on-line.
Posted on Wed, Apr 21, 2010
I was working with someone who was being mobbed . One of the things that he really found helpful was to do some internet research. He found out he wasn’t the only one, how he was feeling was common, discovered some strategies, and appreciated reading about different forms of workplace bullying because it helped him name the injustices he was experiencing.
Last night I was at a BBQ and talked with someone who had had to fire someone who had been bullying co-workers for 40 years. 40 years!!! People were terrified of him and didn’t feel safe enough–emotionally or physically–to speak up.
Who gets bullied?
Typically I don’t like to categorize people because I think it can be limiting, pervasive and can be oppressive, despite the helping profession’s attempt to be helpful.
People who are bullied in the workplace, however, seem to be described according to their strengths. What a nice change!! People who have been targeted are described as the most skilled person in the workplace, independent, ethical, honest, non-confrontative, cooperative, and a high achiever. Does that seem to fit for you?
Why don’t people speak up?
We’re adults now, right? Is it possible that people who are being targeted are told overtly or covertly to suck it up, that they’re acting like babies, or that somehow their behaviour has invited the attacks?
Do you have any experiences with being bullied at work?
How did you respond? What helped you to move past it? Did you address it directly with the person, with your employer, did you change jobs, or did you do something else?
Speaking up…
What do you think encourages people to speak up? If we witness bullying or unfair treatment, do we have any responsibility to say something? If you are or were being bullied, what might you do to try to make things better?
The No Bully for Me website suggests several things people might consider doing to take a stand. These include talking directing with the person doing the bullying, being firm with your convictions, finding support through the web or professionally, checking company policies around workplace bullying, and “fighting the good fight and then moving on.”
What do you think? What’s been helpful to you? What’s helped you to feel even a little bit better? What steps do you think you could take, or have you taken, to stand up? Suppose you did stand up with the person or people tormenting you, how confident are you that things would change? What will be some signs that you’ve tried your best and it’s time to do something else?
Unfortunately, workplace bullying is all too common. Fortunately, there professionals like psychologists and others who can help.
About the author:
Renée Meggs is a Registered Psychologist who works with adults and children to help them do what works, both in counselling and coaching. If you’d like to book an appointment or inquire about my services, please e-mail me at reneemeggs@focusedsolutionscounselling.com and/or go to my website at http://www.reneemeggs.com. I can meet with you in person, on the phone, or on-line.
Posted on Mon, Apr 12, 2010
Serotonin and your gut
I was having a conversation with a psychiatrist, Dr. Bud Rickhi, the other day. He told me serotonin is produced in your gut (95% of it anyways) and is transported to your brain via your blood vessels.
Serotonin is thought to be the chemical that regulates mood in the brain. Too little serotonin is believed to contribute to depression. Anti-depressants typically elevate serotonin levels.
The intestinal connection with mental health…
So what if serotonin is produced in the gut? Dr. Rickhi and others talk about the link between intestinal and mental health. One idea is that if you’re not digesting your food properly, if for some reason there’s inflammation in your gut, it interferes with serotonin production. Inflammation can also interfere with blood platelet’s ability to carry serotonin to the brain. This is an important idea because it suggests that what we eat can contribute to how we feel–physically and mentally.
Butterflies and gut feelings…
On the other hand, how we feel can also impact our guts. Think of those butterflies in the stomach we can get when we’re excited, anticipating something, or are nervous or anxious.
What about those gut feelings, gut-wrenching experiences, or that pit in your stomach? Have you ever felt sick to your stomach because you’re so upset by something? We intuitively seem to know there’s a connection between our guts and our thoughts and feelings.
Dis-ease and our guts
What about the role that inflammatory illnesses or diseases play in serotonin production and our feelings of sadness, worry, or stress? I’m thinking about things like arthritis, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, nervous stomach, and chronic fatigue syndrome. Are they chicken or egg things? Do people with these illnesses get influenced by stress, worry, or sadness? If so, do problems in their guts contribute, or is it the other way around?
In an interview with Psychology Today, a neuro-biologist, Michael Gershon talked about how antidepressants in low doses have been used to effectively treat irritable bowel syndrome. Scientific American proposes our day-to-day emotional wellness may be in part reliant on our guts.
Counselling, appetite, and depression
As a psychologist, I’m trained to ask people about their appetite (as well as other questions) if I suspect–they’re telling me–they’re depressed. I ask questions as well about what they’re eating. Perhaps it could be helpful to include questions about how they feel after eating particular kinds of foods. I wonder if this might include questions about whole foods and processed foods…
Obviously, health and wellness is not simple and straightforward. We do know that lifestyle has an impact. Eating whole and natural foods, exercising, getting enough sleep, and taking care of our hearts and minds may make a real difference.
What do you think?
What helps you when you’re feeling worried, stressed, or sad? Does relaxing, calming down, or accepting what you can’t change make a difference? What are the benefits of dealing with whatever is happening in your life that’s contributing to your feelings? What do you do to manage stress that helps? Does considering a variety of things you can do help you live the life you want?
Do you notice a difference in your mood depending on how well you’re eating, sleeping, or exercising? What helps you feel good and enjoy life in ways that are meaningful to you? Are ideas about the connection between your gut and your mind helpful…or not so much?
About the author:
Renée Meggs is a Registered Psychologist who works with adults and children to help them do what works, both in counselling and coaching. If you’d like to book an appointment or inquire about my services, please e-mail me at reneemeggs@focusedsolutionscounselling.com and/or go to my website at http://www.reneemeggs.com. I can meet with you in person, on the phone, or on-line.
Posted on Mon, Apr 05, 2010
You’ve decided you want to work some things out in your relationship. Maybe it’s time to address some issues that just don’t seem to be getting any better. Maybe you want to rekindle the passion you once had. You may have some clear ideas of what you want, or perhaps you’d like to figure out where you’re both headed.
Imagine being able to focus on the two of you in a couple's retreat in one of the most beautiful places on earth:
Banff.
Okay, I’m a bit biased. I love my home town. It’s an incredibly gorgeous place with a myriad of things to do: downhill skiing, cross country skiing, snowhoeing, or skating in the winter; hiking, biking, walking, golfing, or canoeing in the summer; and sightseeing any time of year. And it’s so accessible!! Practically outside your doorstep you can go on any kind of outdoor adventure–easy or challenging.
If you’d rather gaze at this mountain wonderland while going to cafes, shopping, or enjoying the aesthetics of numerous galleries or museums, you can!! We have plenty to do and see!
Before or after a meeting with me, you may want to go for a relaxing walk along the Bow River. Perhaps you’d like to see a view of the Bow Valley and the Banff townsite from above. The Sulphur Mountain Gondola whisks you to the top of Sulphur Mountain for an incredible 360 degree view.
I really believe in doing something you really enjoy or find relaxing in addition to working towards what you want in your relationship. What about meeting with me and then having a hot stone massage, going to a yoga class, or having a manicure or pedicure? These things can help revitalize and motivate you to continue working towards your goals.
Imagine…
You arrive in Banff in the late afternoon and walk downtown for a yoga class before going to eat some Canadian cuisine at the Maple Leaf Restaurant. Afterward, you head up to the Banff Centre to listen to some live jazz.
Day One…
The next morning after a light breakfast at the Wild Flour Bakery, we meet. We'll spend the first two hours meeting one-on-one to talk about what's been happening in your relationship and where you want things to go. We'll talk about what you've tried to do to make things better, discuss your relationship questions and relationships problems.
After our one-on-one meetings, we'll meet together. This is where we'll start working on areas such as communication skills or love languages depending on what you've identified will make the couple's retreat the most successful for you.
After our meeting you go for a delicious lunch at the Bison Restaurant and follow it up with a nice walk along the Bow River. You decide to treat yourselves and go for a couple’s spa treatment before going to have some sushi at the Sushi House.
Day Two…
On the second day, you go for a run along the Fenland Trail, return to your hotel for a shower, and go out for a great breakfast at Coyote’s Restaurant. We meet and continue building on your relationship goals. You then decide to see the area a bit more and arrange for Banff Adventure Tours to take you out. You decide on a quiet night at your hotel and eat at the hotel restaurant or order take out.
Day Three…
The third day arrives and you decide to eat a hearty breakfast at Melissa’s Restaurant before you walk to my office to meet. We continue talking about your relationship and the progress you’re making, and spend some time discussing integrating and maintaining changes once you’re back home. You have a casual lunch at Timber’s Restaurant and take the airport shuttle to the airport. The retreat has flown by and you leave feeling confident about what you’re doing in your relationship.
The couple's retreat is a total of 10 hours and can be divided into 2 or 3 days, depending on your needs.
About the author:
Renée Meggs is a Registered Psychologist who works with adults and children to help them do what works, both in counselling and coaching. If you’d like to book an appointment or inquire about my services, please e-mail me at renee@reneemeggs.com and/or go to my website at http://www.reneemeggs.com. I can meet with you in person, on the phone, or on-line.