Posted on Tue, Dec 29, 2009
Inspiration exists, but it must find us working. ~Pablo Picasso
It’s the time of year when people start thinking about New Year’s resolutions. All of us make them with the best intentions in mind. But how do you make them last? What makes them meaningful enough to follow through on?
The first step: What is your New Year’s resolution? Suppose you wake up on New Year’s Day and your resolution has come true. What would be the first thing you noticed that would tell you something was different? What would be happening as you went through your day? What would you be seeing? What would you be hearing? What would you be feeling? What difference would it make in your life? What would be the benefits of having this resolution a reality?
People in your life: Who else would notice your resolution was a reality? What would s/he or they say they notice you doing? Would your resolution make any difference to her/him/them? If so, what difference would it make?
Capturing your Resolution: Part of making a resolution last is developing a rich picture of it. You have to be able to really imagine yourself doing something, to see it, hear it, and feel it with every cell of your body. Some people find creating that rich image is all they need. Other creative types enjoy creating an image, a symbol, or a representation of their goal through artistic endeavours. Would it be helpful to create a collage, a painting, a drawing, a photo, a sculpture, or to have a mantra or a saying that reminds you of your resolution and motivates you to act?
Exceptions: Once you have a very clear image of what you want life to be like when you’re living your resolution, ask yourself, are there any times now or in the past when you’ve reached bits of that resolution—even in the tiniest of ways? What did you do that was helpful? How did you get that to happen? What can you use from that experience or experiences that would be useful now?
A past or present relationship: What would someone in your life—past or present—say that s/he knows about you that would tell him/her that you can do this? Who would be the least surprised that you’re living your resolution?
Where are you at? On a scale of 0-10, if 10 is you’re living your resolution and 0 is the opposite, where would you say you are now? What are you doing that puts you there? Where would that person in the paragraph above put you? What would s/he say s/he’s noticed that you’re doing that puts you there?
One small step: What is one small thing you can do that would put you up a notch on the scale the week after New Years? Once you’ve decided, ask yourself, is that a small step or a big step? If it’s big, ask yourself to think small. Change can happen quickly and usually happens with small, realistic steps.
The next step: Once you’ve made that small step, consider what helped you follow through. What’s one other thing you can do that will move you up the scale a notch? Again, think of a small, baby step you can take. Once you made that step, what’s something else you can do? Remember that success builds on success. Keep going, step-by-step. You’ll get there sooner than you think!! Happy New Year!
If you have any comments, questions, or would like someone to help keep you accountable as you work on your New Year’s resolution(s), please let me know!! I look forward to hearing from you!!
Posted on Mon, Dec 21, 2009
This weekend was a busy one. I attended 2 dinner parties with friends. Prior to going to them I had been orchestrating an incredibly hectic week and the evening parties were beginning to look like just another chore. Imagine my delight when I left each one with an enormous smile, sore face and tummy muscles from laughing so much, and a great big natural high. I’m still chuckling at the stories!
Is laughter the best medicine? You bet! It’s good for the soul, for the mind, and for the body. When we have a really good belly laugh, the world seems like a better place. Troubles that seemed daunting can seem a little more manageable, and we can breathe a little more easily. Holiday stress eases. Laughter gives us energy and allows us to focus better. It’s also good medicine for the immune system, is a great way to move past stress, is a trigger for those feel-good chemicals, the endorphins, is good for the heart, and can even reduce pain.
Another really great thing about laughter is that it’s contagious. Good moods spread. Relationships can become stronger, teams can function better, and groups can bond. Humour and the laughter it produces can really help change our perspective on things and add some zest to our lives and our relationships.
What do you find funny? What helps put you in a good mood? For some Christmas humour, see Christmas.WhipNet.net or Off the Mark How can you add some laughter into your day? I’d love to hear your comments!!!
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Anonymous
Have a happy holiday!!!
Posted on Sat, Dec 12, 2009
Christmas on TV: We watch commercials of a family at Christmas. Mom and dad are there with the kids, everyone is laughing and enjoying themselves, there’s lots of presents and good food to eat amidst a beautifully decorated house. But what do those commercials do to you when you don’t have a family¸ you’re estranged from them, can’t afford to visit them, or they live too far away? How do you make the day meaningful for one? Do you connect with others or spend the day solo?
Creating connections: I have a friend who moved here years ago. She decided to spend Christmas celebrating with other “orphans” by hosting a potluck dinner party. She’s hosted the party for 20 years now and the list of orphans keeps growing. Her “family” has become this hodgepodge of men and women she’s created close connections with.
I have yet another friend who spends most of the Christmas season volunteering. She helps in whatever way she can–often with our local Santa’s Anonymous¸ a program that delivers Christmas hampers and toys to single adults and families that need some extra help. She creates connections with other like-minded people that want to give back.
Is connecting with others important to you at Christmas? If so, what can you do to plan to celebrate with others? Would you like to spend the day with others you know, by volunteering, by attending church, doing something online, or by doing something within your community? Suppose you decided to create your own Christmas tradition or celebration. What would you like to do?
Spending the day alone: I have a friend whose parents died some time ago. She has never been married and doesn’t have any children. She views Christmas as a holiday to endure, to get through as easily and painlessly as possible. She tries to do this by living in the moment and doing exactly what she feels like doing all day.
What is a way you could connect with yourself on Christmas Day? Would you enjoy planning a number of things you could do, or would you rather spontaneously decide? Would you prefer doing things to relax, or to be active? Would this be a time to feed your soul, a time to get that task list done, or the time to undertake a project? Suppose this Christmas Day was going to go exactly the way you wanted it to be, what would you be doing? What would you do to joyously live in the moment?
We have a choice to spend the day with others or by ourselves. Even when it doesn’t seem like much of a choice, there are things we can do to make the day special for ourselves. What will you do? I’d appreciate your comments and feedback!
Posted on Tue, Dec 08, 2009
Holidays can be the best of times, and the worst of times; they can be times of wisdom or times of foolishness; they can be the epoch of beliefs, they can be the epoch of consumerism; holidays are the season of lights during the season of darkness; holidays can be the spring of hope, or the winter of despair; we have everything before us, we have nothing before us; we are all going to consumer Heaven, or we’re all going the other way.
~Charles Dickens and Renee
Last year I read a funny post by Mark Gorkin about the 4 f’s of holiday friction. He has a great way of giving you some information while making you chuckle. His four f’s were fantasy, family, food, and finances. I’ve used his ideas and given you some food for thought—this kind of holiday food is healthy, honest!!
Fantasy: Want your Christmas to look like the perfect Hallmark Christmas card? Looking for peace and joy juggling work, parties, shopping, baking, cleaning, decorating, parenting, or caring for aging parents?
The media bombards us with images of what the holidays are supposed to be like. We in turn can have some pretty high expectations of ourselves and what the holidays are supposed to be like! What helps you create a holiday that fits with your dreams and your values? What helps you do what you prefer? What helps you to plan ahead so that you have a better chance of meeting your expectations? What helps when things don’t go as planned?
Family: The holidays are ‘supposed’ to be a time to spend with family. Many families live far apart from one another and can’t get home every year. Others don’t want to go home or can’t because their parents have passed away. Our ideas of family are changing and open the doors for us to spend the holiday with people of our choosing. Who do you consider to be your family? Relatives? Extended family? Friends? What helps you feel better about either not spending time with family & friends, or spending time with family and friends? What helps you honour who you want to spend your time with over the holidays? What’s going to help you move past any guilt trips people might try on you to spend the holidays their way? How do you balance what you want and what others want?
Food: I love the food at Christmas! Give me turkey, stuffing, broccoli with hollandaise sauce, and finish it off with some chocolate Turtles. Yum, yum!! Sometimes though, the holiday food goes on and on as I attend one party after another and I have to start thinking about how much I really want that tasty morsel. How do you pull yourself away from overloading on those tasty temptations or do you think that’s necessary? What are some healthy holiday habits that you have or that you could try?
Finances: “Presence precedes presents.” Christmas seems to be the time when people can go hog wild. And there’s so much to spend money on!! Food, presents, decorations, fundraisers—the list goes on and on! How do you balance the idea of spending time with spending money? Is that an important idea for you? How do you spend money on people during the holidays in a way that helps you keep some cash in your pocket or stick to your budget? What do you do that helps you have a meaningful holiday versus a commercial one? What helps you stand up to the pressure of kids who want everything?
The holidays really can be the best of times, or the worst of times. What helps you beat holiday stress? What do you do to make it the best it can be? I’d love to hear from you!!